Ketchup Chips Substitutes for Kreskin

Now, Therefore, I, Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States, pursuant to the pardon power conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Hillary Rodam Clinton for all offenses against the United States which she, Hillary Rodam Clinton, has committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 20, 2009 through February 1, 2013.

In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this 31st day of December, in the year of our Lord two thousand sixteen and of the Independence of the United States of America two hundred forty.

Signed; Barack Hussein Obama

Hillary Clinton's Magnificent, Magical List of Accomplishments

 

I have captured Hillary Clinton's talking points in a sample conversation with any competent journalists who ask the very toughest of questions facing Clinton on the campaign trail:
 
 Q.“What has Hilary done?”
 
A. “She has done a lot.”
 
The reporter rephrases:
 
Q. “Name one thing she has done?”
 
A. “She has done so many things you can’t quantify them.”
 
The reporter tries one more time:
 
Q. "Please, just name just one thing, anything that Hillary has accomplished?”
 
A. “I think I already answered that for you, next please.”
 
A. " Wait a sec - I do remember something! She has a uterus...."

<a href="http://feedshark.brainbliss.com">Feed Shark</a>

Reckoning is Upon You - A September 11th Warning

I gotta tell ya - these "last minute" terror warnings about potential threats on Sept. 11th have got me a bit puzzled and concerned. How is it that we, the most powerful nation on the face of the earth are cowering waiting for something to happen to us?

How come people in foreign lands that wish to do US harm are not shaking in THEIR boots tonight? If I was President Zero, I would release the following statement:

"Today America mourns the victims of a reprehensible and cowardly act of terrorisom perptetrated on our innocent people 10 years ago. The animals responsible for this act were the lowest form of human existence, spawned from a backwards and dangerous religion that seeks to kill and maim non-believers, whether they be soldiers or civilians, rich or poor, women or children. This religion promotes hatred and intolerance, and seeks to erase our way of life - if not our very lives.

I make this declaration clearly and unambiguously. To all the nations, organizatons, or individuals of the world - if you harm any of our people to further your cause for hatred, or to justify the insanity of your own religions, we will decimate you. We will use our weapons to rain down holy terror upon all that you hold dear. If you target a bridge of ours - will will destroy 10 of yours. If you harm a tunnel - we will incinerate a dozen of yours. We will not be judicious in how we choose to apply our retribution. Any nation that has wished us ill-will is a target. The bridge WE choose to erase may be in Yemen or Syria, in Iran or Iraq or North Korea. It may be in Libya or Pakistan or China or Russia. It may be anywhere in the world that chooses to take the fight to us.

We will decide how and when your fate will be sealed - not you.

One more thing - it is not fair that American children lie awake in both fear and grief tonight. It is not fair that our brave police and fire personnell have to take time away from their families to protect the rest of us because of the threats YOU make. So here is how we are going to play it. Over the next 24 hours WE will eradicate a random piece of infrastructure in a random nation that seeks us harm. There will be no warning, no political discourse, no negotiation. There will only be complete and total destruction - be it a bridge or a dam or a training camp or a lone terrorist on a prayer mat or an airport or train line.

We're taking the fight to you. You've asked for it, and we will be delivering.

We pride ourselves in being a peaceful group of folks. We're tolerant to a fault and generous like no others. However - do not mistake our civility for complacency. Do not equate our ability to be kind with a lack of willingness or ability to do you harm. To those that wish us well, we will be mourning over the next few days, we know you will understand. To those that seek us to harm us - sleep with one eye open tonight.

Reckoning is upon you."

Did you hear about the new KFC chicken special - they call it the "Hillary"

Two fat thighs, tiny breasts and one left wing.

I slay me.