Al Gore and the Black Hole Lump of Goo

Whatever happened to Al Gore (inventor of the Internet)? I mean, a couple of years ago, he was everywhere. Won an Oscar for the purposely bloated (the movie, not him!) An Inconvenient Truth. Got rid of light bulbs, made us all buy green cars and sweat in the summer and freeze in the winter while the Chinese and Indians laughed their asses of at us as they used burning prisoners to stoke the fires of their factories.

We were told that "time was running out" and "annihilation was at hand", but when the whole Climategate things came out (leftist proponents of the cause purposely manipulated environmental data to pad their own claims) Gore and all the others who were trying to make money off of a "green society" made a less than John Wayne stand by declaring that it was "climate change" and not "global warming" they were fighting. Nothing like covering all the bases eh? (I'm a Canadian eh!!!)

Now they seem to have bailed on us, leaving us all to our own devices to solve the horror that is climate change. I mean - was selling fake carbon credits to those cowed into believing this tripe so lucrative that you can all retire? I guess so.

But, I am not a stupid man, so I am inventing the latest fringe theory, and this time I am going to monetize it. Black Hole insurance. There is a distinct possibility that you will be squeezed through the sphincter of a black hole and shot out the other side as who knows what. For only $19.99 I will personally guarantee that you will not emerge as either a lump of goo, or as Al Gore. Operators are standing by.